If You Were Gay
by samiekins17
Summary: What happens when Nick is left on watch with Ellis and the boy can't help but start another one of his Keith stories and won't shut up? Nick gets frustrated of course.


**Author's Note: **Alright this was an idea that my sister came up with after it had came on over my iTunes. It's not very long in my opinion and is most likely crappy but it was just something I wrote for fun and hoped to maybe get some people to laugh about the idea. Just imagining it makes me laugh. Well I hope you enjoy my sleep deprived randomness. Reviews are greatly appreciated.

_Disclaimer:_ I do not own Left 4 Dead or any of the characters and I do not own the song used either. They all belong to their respected owners.

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The four survivors were getting close to their destination but the sun had set and there were now all stationed in one of the many safe houses. The conman and mechanic were up on watch while the other two slept in the backroom of the small house. The conman was unsure of where the mechanic was at that moment but he didn't mind since he finally had some peace and quiet. He had discovered a deck of cards upon searching the house and was now sitting there building a castle out of cards since he wasn't all that fond of solitaire and there were no good card games he could play by himself. He had a few layers of the castle built before he heard footsteps coming in his direction. He let out a sigh as his moment of silence was soon going to be ruined.

"Hey Nick!" Ellis's cheerful voice filled the room, making Nick roll his eyes.

"Hi Overalls." The conman didn't look up from his cards and continued to try and build his castle.

"Did I ever tell you the time Keith and I traveled on the subway? This guy went and sat across from us was smiling at Keith and talking to him." The hick's voice drawing out the last part of his sentence made Nick finally turn his green eyes toward the younger man for a moment.

"That's so interesting." He said, voice filled with sarcasm before turning back to his cards.

"He was being real friendly and I think he was comin' onto Keith." Ellis said with laughter in his voice as he spoke. "I think he might've thought Keith was gay!"

"Why are you telling me this? I don't care. Did you find anything useful?"

"Oh, you don't have to get all defensive about it Nick."

This made the conman's brow furrow in frustration and ended up knocking over his castle of cards in the process. "I'm not getting defensive! Why would I care about some gay guy you and Keith met. I'm trying to building a castle of cards."

"I didn't mean nothing by it, Nick. I just think it should be something we should be able to talk 'bout." Ellis said before leaning on the armchair of where Nick sat.

"I do not want to talk about this Ellis. This conversation is over! Now shut up about it."

"But Nick..."

"I said over!" Nick glared at Ellis as the younger man tried to continue the conversation that he did not want to listen to.

"Well okay but just so you know..." Ellis said before he paused for a moment with that same bright smile on his face. _"If you were gay, That'd be okay. I mean 'cause hey, I'd like you anyway. Because you see, if it were me, I would feel free to say that I was gay, but I'm not gay."_

Nick looked up even more frustrated as Ellis began to sing. "Ellis I do not want to hear this." The mechanic continued to look at the conman with the same look that sent a chill up the older man's spine. "What?"

"_If you were queer. I'd still be here."_

"Oh god overalls just shut up."

"_Year after year. Because you're dear to me," _Nick let out a frustrated grunt as he bore daggers into the kid. _"And I know that you, would accept me too."_

"I would?" Nick questioned, his voice was still frustrated by the singing hick. He hoped the hick didn't wake up the other to by this. He honestly didn't want to deal with either of the others after being woken up. They seemed the type to probably murder him if that was the case. Sure they would murder him and not Ellis either.

"_If I told you today, 'Hey! Guess what, I'm Gay!' But I'm not Gay. I'm happy just being with you."_

Nick could feel his fist curl up as Ellis continued to sing in that overly cheery voice of his. He needed to get the kid to shut up somehow. It was growing worse than his stupid Keith stories. He'd at least shut up about those if one of the three of them told him to shut it. Most of the time they really didn't have the time to hear those stories. It wasn't a wonder that all the infected seemed to target the hick with the way he seemed to almost always be talking.

"_So what should it matter to me what you do in bed with guys?" _

"That's gross..."

"No it's not! _If you were gay. I'd shout hooray!"_

"I'm not listening to this anymore." Nick ran his hand through his hair as he tried to think of someway to shut up the kid.

"_And here I'd stay, But I wouldn't get in your way. You can count on me to always be beside you every day, to tell you it's okay, you were just born that way, and as they say, it's in your DNA, You're gay!"_

"I'm not gay!" Nick yelled at him, growing even more frustrated.

"If you were gay..."

"Argh!"

Nick jumped up from his seat and pushed Ellis against the wall before pressing his lips roughly against the younger male's. He could feel Ellis tense but he didn't care. It was the one way he figured he'd be able to get the kid to shut up. He moved back away from the stunned male and went back and sat down in his seat and picked up two cards to start his card castle over. As he sent a short glance over at Ellis he couldn't help but let his lips pull into a smirk. Ellis didn't move from the spot against the wall and was now sporting a cherry red face. That wasn't the only thing that made the conman smirk. For once he had finally gotten the hick to shut up and it didn't seem like anything else would come from those lips for at least the rest of the night.


End file.
